Letter to the Editor draft

Dear Editor,

In Jim Vertuno’s March 29, 2009 article “Guns on Campus: Bills would allow guns at college”, he argues that college campuses would be safer if licensed people carried concealed weapons. Many advocators seem to think the college boundaries do not really prevent anything to begin with. To most people, there seems to be an obvious clash between guns and students, but not for the Texas State Legislature which is one of the seven states considering passing a law in favor of guns at schools.
Texas already has the reputation for being gun-friendly and while perhaps, having those responsible enough to have a gun on campus could protect the innocent, if an outraged shooter did attack, God forbid like at Virginia Tech; the costs still out way the benefits. While I understand that we all have the Constitutional right, according the Second Amendment, to posses a firearm, this should not apply to schools. The law does not protect those outraged killers who pick a campus and target innocent people to murder. Nor does it protect those who target an office or a hospital. I think that guns should be left with law enforcement, secured at home, or lodged in between a person’s hands while hunting.
I have fired a gun many times and each time, I am amazed at the amount of damage a push of a trigger can really do so someone or something. I personally own a gun and have never felt like my rights were being infringed upon because I could not bring it to school. If I walked around campus and saw a person with a gun in their coat, concealed or not, I would immediately think it is a gunman, not someone who is licensed to carry a weapon. If students are allowed to carry guns, what is stopping teachers, janitors, even potential students from bringing a gun to school? Perhaps a future student is taking a campus tour and they decide that they do not want to attend this particular school because of their gun policy? This would be a huge deterrent for universities and their income.
Though I do not agree with Vertuno’s article, I do think he was able to make some valid points with his quotes from advocates. My only concern, being a current college student, would be that I would not be able to adjust to where guns are allowed and where they are not. Sure police would be expected to have a gun and maybe even campus security at large events like football games. But how would students react to seeing their teacher walk in with a gun around his or her waist? How intimidating would that be and how would that affect the classroom environment? It is not simply about our second amendment right to own a gun; it is about the safety of school and students.
There has to be a distinction between what is appropriate for safety and what makes those who own guns feel like they can make other safe. A gun is a scary object, not something to be handled lightly by anyone and this includes law enforcement. When it comes down to it, every gun loaded or not, has the potential to if not kill, seriously hurt someone. Even cops make mistakes, but a mistake at school can cost students their lives, and for what? So that those who are licensed to carry gun, many of whom are no longer in school, can demonstrated their second amendment right?
Tara Finn
Texas Christian University

Author’s note

This is my first draft and I am not sure if I approached this the correct way. I think I was trying to say that I am not anti-guns, but anti- guns at school. I am unsure of how personal to be and how to balance that with facts from the article. I do not know if this is the correct format and would love the help! Thanks!

Article Choice

I am from California, and decided to chose and article that focused on the current economic debacle within the University of California system. Doyle, the author, is a staff writer from the "San Francisco Chronicle". The UC system plans to increase tuition rates 10 percent at 10 of the campuses for the summer session, which will eventually lead into the fall and spring sessions as well. The undergraduate increase from $ 7, 126 to $ 7,789 though not seemingly alarming, is covered with scandal. The fear comes from the possibility that continued tuition rates are not affordable for lower-income families. Also, that is not proportionate to the cost living increase.

The controversy also steams from the refusal of the chancellor of Cal, Birgeneau, to take any sort of a pay cut. The economic crisis is not only effecting businesses and Wall Street, it is severely hurting students and schools. The idea behind a public schooling system is to educate students, not to turn them away because of their lack of funds.

Topic Choice

I am going to write about higher education tuition rates in California, specifically the UC system. They are taking tax payers' dollars and using them to boost the salaries of chancellors, who do not deserve it. I pay taxes in California. Also, my brother is possibly going to Cal and my parents' money would be going into someone else's already large, undeserving wallet. Lower income families are also at a loss because of the soaring tuition rates.

Finn-author's not Final unit 2

As a whole, I think this portfolio has developed well from when I first started. Even though I completely changed 3 of my sources,I think it was worth the extra time to pull better sources on my topic. From the two source pre-write, to the drafts is where is where I saw the most dramatic change because it forced me to really put the paper together. I had to not only summarize the source, but analyze which I found to be the most difficult task.
This final draft I think has a nice flow with coherent sources that all take slightly different opinions on study abroad. I think I was able to transition well from each source and keep the paper flowing nicely so the reader can follow along. I think my chosen sources balance each other well and strengthen the analysis. My only real concern at this point, is that I did not walk the reader through enough analysis while summarizing. But I made a decision to do all the summarizing first so the reader knew the source's background and viewpoint, and then analyze their rhetorical strategies. Though this might seem out of order, I felt it made the paper flow better overall. Enjoy reading!

author's note #2

I feel like this draft is a lot more solid than my first draft. I think I still need to help on transitioning between the sources, but other than that, I think I was able to fix what I needed to. I still don't know if my conclusion ties the whole paper together, so I would like some suggestions for that as well.

Deeveloping cas study

I think my second draft has a lot more actual rhetorical analysis as opposed to simple summary of my sources. I tried to incorporate ethos, pathos, and ethos in all four of my sources and I think they transition well. I think I was able to demonstrated each source's unique opinion without incorporating my own biases, which was very difficult to avoid. I was able to funnel my introduction better to really narrow down into my main analysis. Where as before, I was just writing random sentences that I didn't think flowed well. I also think my conclusion has been developed better to give a concise ending to my paper with a very personal feel.I still am unsure about how exactly to end my paper, but I think my idea is now more developed. I was able to balance the personal and national feel to study abroad with a more distinct separation between the two.
I think I need to still tweak my transitions a little to make it flow more easily, but overall, I think it has developed well into a solid rhetorical analysis essay. It at first seemed so overwhelming to have to write an 8-10 page paper, but starting they way we did, I think I was able to explain and analyze each of my sources effectively for the reader. This way, the reader knows the background of each source and their individual point of views.

Local Community

Study Abroad directly affects the local TCU community because many TCU students have the opportunity to study abroad. It is an experience that those who are fortunate to have, say last them a lifetime. Before I found sources, I went to the TCU website and watched the testimonials of actual students talk about their experiences and they all said pretty much the same thing. It is something that can be talked about, but in order to really understand, has to be experienced. TCU offers many programs both for a semester and a summer session for every major to ensure that everyone has the opportunity to study abroad. On the other hand, it is also extremely expensive, as everything at TCU seems to be. I think that can discourage a lot of people, but hopefully with my paper's personal anecdotes, it can seem more affordable.
Also, study abroad students are here at TCU. They eat our food, where our clothes, and begin to pick up American slang. They support our local communities and begin to learn the entire American culture. They positively effect our world view while we hopefully boost their view of the United States. This relationship though can be awkward at times because of cultural differences, is one that impacts everyone who has ever been able to meet/talk/ or even simply look at someone foreign. There is a lot to learn on both sides.

author's note-draft 1

I like my draft of this essay but I think it still needs a lot of work. I have good sources, but I think I need better transitions. I need a way to connect all the sources into my thesis- which I am still changing because I am not sure how to incorporate all the sources yet. I feel like I have a good mix of personal experiences and actual facts from the Institute of International Education, a very reliable source. I think that I might rely too much on this source and might need to mix it up a little bit.
I absolutely hate my intro but could think of anything else while I was writing. Please feel free to give me any suggestions because I need them!
I like my conclusion a lot and I think my body paragraphs are solid- but could be better. I want the reader to understand the importance on a personal and national level but I still don't know if that is too broad or not. I feel like I did a good job balancing these two views. One last thing, I don't know if I did too much summary of each source and not enough analysis; I don't know if we are even supposed to put analysis in something we can't give our opinion about.

Preperations

I think that my first two body sections are solid. The two sources that I began to analyze are the ones I am most confident in, and therefore, was able to write the most about. They take similar views on study abroad and how the country's view effects how the world sees America. As I was writing my paragraphs, I began to realize that my topic incorporates a lot more than I thought it did when I first started. I began with the idea that I would talk about the benefits of study abroad and how it is crucial to the college experience. As I furthered my research however, I began to realize that I needed to change my focus. I need to argue the study abroad is crucial to not only the college experience, but also to the United States a whole; specifically the economy. I never realize this before, but have found it quite fascinating to discover.

As far as my rhetorical strategies, I think that most of my sources deal with the facts, therefore the logos and they come from credible sources to the ethos is displayed as well. But I think I need to elaborate on the sources pathos. I think with more relatedness, the audinece will be able to more easily understand. While writing, I tried to set up a model in my paper. I wanted to introduce the source and its author with a little background information, so the reader could decide if it was biased or not based on the circumstances. I then went paragraph by paragraph through each source and either summarized or quoted points that were relevant and need to be further analyzed.

Prewrite Questions

What is connecting your sources?

The idea that study abroad affects a student’s education, not just in college, but for the rest of their lives, especially their potential careers. And how such a personal experience can connect people to cultures they never could have imagined before. Also, how it affects not only students, but countries and their individual economies and how the rest of the world views them. The more students who want to visit a certain country, the better that particular country looks to every other country. What is so special about that country? Also, the economy and how a few thousand students make a big difference in the GDP and other reliable financial analysis.

Controlling idea?

The study abroad experience though unique to every person and his or her personal journey, allows for a cultural exploration and a discovery beyond the traditional accepted cultural norms. Every student’s experience is valued not only as an experience, but as economically stimulating.

Order of sources? Effective?

I would organize my sources by their specific points. I would most likely start with the general experiences, with the percentages from the International Institute of Education Opinion piece by Michael Adams. I think it gives a good starting point for my general idea because it shows both the good and the bad of the United States’ current situation and how if specifically affects the students. There is a good deal of statistical information mixed with his current view of out eco crisis.

The second source I would use would most likely be to elaborate on the first; it is by Philip Altbach and simply elaborates on the reason the American opportunity is dwindling. I might combine these two witin the same section.

The third source I would use would be TCU’s study abroad testimonials available on TCU’s website. These statements are very straight forward and clearly describe college students’ experience within a familiar community. I think this narrows my focus to an audience that everyone at TCU can relate to.

The fourth source would be the personal interview with two current exchange students from Holland. I have been able to interact with them and have the describe their personal experiences here not only in the United States, but also Texas, and even more specifically, TCU. Hearing it straight from their mouths I am able to interpret their feelings about this experience and compare it to the facts and data. It allows the audience to relate as more.

I think that having a mix between personal experiences and factual statistics creates a well balanced analysis. I might decide to switch it up and alternate between personal and fact sources depending on how paper begins to flow.

Transition?
From source 1-2 they talk about very similar things so I think I simply be able to use a word like similarly, and then talk about the next source.
From 2-3 I would talk about how a country’s experience is similar and different from that of an individual and then use those testimonials. I think this will be the most difficult because I have to go from interpreting study abroad as a beneficial economic stimulus for countries to personal experiences. I think with the comparison approach though, that I will be able to smoothly crate a transition.

From 3-4 I will be able to elaborate upon a testimonials to an actual specific experience. Going from TCU students going to other places and reporting back, to foreign students coming to TCU and how their experience has and will shape them.

I think there will a natural flow because I start off big and end up small; I might however start small and end up big.

Research Perspective

As I research more and begin to really delve more into study abroad, I have begun to realize the true importance of it. I have found myself wanting to study abroad for some time, but now after researching all the benefits, not only from the experience, but also from the career perspective, I cannot help but think what my own study abroad experience will be like. I have talked with so many people and they all say the same thing, but anticipating my own study abroad experience in Italy, I begin to fill in mental gaps. As in how much it is really going to cost with the exchange rate hating the dollar right now. How learning the language will affect my experience. How the people I meet will change my whole perspective on a given subject. Because of my research, I have also discovered that study abroad makes people more marketable.

Businesses want people who have a familiarity with the rest of the world. Studying abroad not only creates that knowledge, it maintains it. Most of my sources talk about the benefits of studying abroad, but there are also some downsides. Mainly, the money, but also the getting adjusted which is something that most cannot prepare for. Having to fend for myself in a foreign country is a scary thought, but with a scheduled study abroad experience, most sources say that the adjusting is well worth the rest of the the experience. Through researching, I have simply begun to see more of the logistical side of study abroad.